We are unique
For years, we, the over-50s and over-80s, have been walking together every Saturday and Sunday morning. The care director, the bicycle dealer, the contractor, and the graphic designer are retired, and the youngest is a Compliance Officer, still working for years. That Friday night, I lay awake thinking, "We're a unique group of friends," not individually, but together, because none of us have ever been divorced. That morning, I told them I'd woken up from them. What do you mean?? they asked me.
I told them that no matter what group I'm in, there's always someone who's divorced. But not in our special, long-standing group of friends. I saw the wheels turning, and they thought, "Arnie has a point there, and he's right." Numerous examples within our circle of friends followed. We should tell them about it at home, but we immediately wondered how that could happen. Are we so easygoing and indulgent, or are our wives? We must be so well off that we come home for dinner; we're spoiled. You've probably heard the expression, "The grass is always greener on the other side," but is that really true? After a few years, a new relationship is normal again. Do you then have to switch providers again? There are men and women who do that, but not in our group of friends. A marriage is a joint affair, and you have to keep talking to each other, doing things, and being there for each other, even in difficult times.
We all have sweet, beautiful, and special women who have always supported us and given us the space to develop our careers. They were always there, sacrificing themselves for the whole family. My director once told me about forty years ago, "What I appreciate about you is that you always put your family first. I wish I had done the same." My answer was, yes, I can live without my work, but not without my family.
The five of us are as diverse as the breeds of our six dogs: a French bulldog, a Hungarian wirehaired Vizsla, an English setter, two Italian Bracchini, and a Jack Russel. Each has its own distinct personality, but together, we get along perfectly. During our walks, the banter and quips fly back and forth, and all the world's problems are discussed and solved. As a Brabander and PSV fan, I often have to endure the teasing from our two FC Utrecht fans, although they've been remarkably quiet lately. Despite PSV's 2-1 loss to Volendam this weekend, Utrecht won 2-1 away against Groningen, giving them renewed hope. We also talk about our children and grandchildren, hobbies like boating, cycling, fishing, baseball, tennis, and, of course, F1 car racing with Max Verstappen, of which we're all fans. With one of us, you shouldn't tell him what the starting grid is on Sunday morning, because he always watches the qualifying sessions first thing in the morning. He can get quite grumpy if you even ask, "Did you know that Max...?" Then we're like, "I don't want to know!" Yeah, we're quite a bunch. Rascals from fifty to well over eighty years old.
Anecdote
Over sixty years ago, we lived in Enschede, where my parents had an unmarried handyman. When my mother asked why, the man replied, "If I get married, my guilder will only be worth a quarter."
Incidentally, I have a friend who has never been married, and I'll ask him if that's the reason. And yes, he's not divorced either. After all, divorce is painful.
I'll conclude with a legendary quote from Herman Finkers: "I'm not married; my parents-in-law couldn't have children."
Zeist is so beautiful, and it's wonderful to live in our village with so many friends.
Arnie Della Rosa
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You can read my walking stories at https://www.als-bomen-en-stenen-konden-praten.com
